Q&A: Shelly Taylor Page, Law professor at Lincoln Memorial University Duncan School of Law

In Q&As, Words With… by Rose Kennedyleave a COMMENT

Shelly Taylor Page, a law professor at Lincoln Memorial University Duncan School of Law, teaches a class on domestic violence law. She will facilitate a conversation following the free showing of the 2004 Argentinian/French film El cielito (Little Sky) at Scruffy City Hall (32 Market Square) at 6 p.m. Monday, Oct. 26. A collaboration between Cine HoLa and the YWCA, the film viewing is part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and shows a juvenile drifter who bonds with and protects a baby whose parents’ marriage becomes increasingly violent. Donations are accepted.

Is your domestic violence class popular at LMU?
It is an elective—not mandatory—so students choose to take it. Students have to be interested in practicing this kind of law, or having this be a part of their practice.  The ones who take it are planning to represent victims of domestic abuse as family law attorneys.

Why is it difficult to get the general public’s attention with the topic of domestic abuse?
I think because it is so prevalent and because it happens to so many people in silence behind closed doors. It happens to whites, it happens to African Americans, to rich and poor, educated and uneducated. Because it happens to so many people, there is like a veil of shame surrounding domestic abuse. It’s like if we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist. When we see that lady in the grocery store with the black eye, we feel better believing that she fell. It is prevalent; it’s everywhere.

What are some warning signs that someone might be an abuser?
They’re possessive, demanding of your time, alienating you from your other friends. For instance, if I’m a young girl—let’s say I’m in the 10th grade, new to relationships. Some signs to look for that this person might be abusive would be a guy who is always asking, “Who are you texting?” Saying, “Let me see your phone, let me see your Facebook friends. You have to sit with me at lunch time.” And then critiquing what you wear, “Why are you wearing those tight jeans, who are you trying to impress?” Perhaps he’s physically aggressive—pinching, yanking, pulling. Those are all little things that turn into bigger things.

Is it really starting that young?
Even younger—middle school sometimes. There’s a Nick Jonas song, “Jealous,” with the lyrics, “It’s my right to be hellish/I still get jealous,” and “call me obsessed” and more ideas like that and it’s played all the time. That song makes my blood boil, and so many middle school girls know Nick Jonas. But I believe we can stop this at the middle and high school level. It’s partly making young women aware, how far do you let him go? If you cut him off the first time—“You don’t tell me who to text!”—then he will either find another girl or re-evaluate and change his behavior.

Do the same signs occur in adult relationships?
Pretty much. If you’re in your 20s and in college, for example, and meet a guy who wants to spend all his time with you, a sign might be if you say you can’t and he gets angry or even sad or depressed. Maybe he even tries to put a guilt trip on the lady, “You don’t love me like you say you love me,” making her feel that the relationship’s success depends on her actions. If he can get her to believe that, he is really in control. And it escalates: “The reason I had to hit you, you didn’t do what I said. If you had just fixed dinner like I told you, I wouldn’t have to throw it at you. Next time you do what I tell you to do and you won’t get hurt.” The problem is, next time it will be a different demand, even an unspoken demand. It’s amazing the little things that set an abuser off.

Does this also apply to men who are abused, or same-sex couples?
Abusers can definitely be women, and part of the problem is men who are abused have that stigma attached to them and are much less likely to report the abuse to the authorities. And my class just studied this, how same-sex couples are much less likely to report abuse—because people don’t know they are together, and they don’t want to lose their employment, or custody, or friends if people find out. The attitude is, “I can beat you half to death because your fear of losing what you have is greater than your desire to get help.” Abusers are excellent manipulators. This is the same for some of the people who are in this country without documentation–they are afraid of reporting abuse because their abusers tell them they will get deported, and they feel like their children have a better chance in this country.

What’s the goal with the film and discussion?
We want to bring greater awareness to domestic abuse and to give a voice to those who are voiceless and hope to those who are hopeless. We want people to come to the film and remember this is happening everywhere, to shed light on what people endure. We hope we might encourage viewers to re-evaluate their relationships with people they know at work or in the neighborhood who might be victims. Maybe to say, “Here’s a toll-free number, somewhere you can call and they can help you. I might be off base, and if I am please forgive me, but I’ll leave this just in case.”

Will it help just to have people come to the film?
Yes! By seeing this film, we let victims know we care—that we know what’s going on, and we care. We want victims to know, “It’s not your fault. You’re not too fat, you’re not too dumb.” Abusers make you believe, “You’re stupid, you’re ugly, and that’s why I’m doing this to you.” That’s not true. You deserve better.

Victim Advocacy Program

If you are a victim of domestic violence or you need help for a loved one in a violent situation, please call YWCA advocates immediately:

• 24-hour Crisis Line 865-521-6336

• Services in English 865-523-6126

• IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, CALL 911.

Rose Kennedy came to Knoxville to work as an editorial assistant on 13-30’s Retail Appliance Management Series and never saw a reason to leave. Her “so uncool I’m cool” career among the alt weekly newspaper crowd has led to award-winning articles on Dr. Bill Bass and the Body Farm and cyber-bullying at West High School, and treasonous food columns about preferring unsweet tea and feeling ambivalent about biscuits.

Share this Post